Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
