just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
