as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
