People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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