ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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