He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You were trust falling into bushes
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