Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Never underestimate the power of titties
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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