i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
