Where did you get a picture of my penis
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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