I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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