Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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