Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
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did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
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He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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