You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
