Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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