how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
