At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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