and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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