I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
