I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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