is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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