Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
