I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
