so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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