She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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