sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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