Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
