does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize