I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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