There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
