You're my little dorito
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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