don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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