The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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