Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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