I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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