Its about making memories worth repressing
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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