She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
