you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
