so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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