I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
