i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
