There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
