Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
