I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
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I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
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he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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