I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize