Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize