I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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