that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Terrible idea I love it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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