I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
