girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
