this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
