I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
