This girl is more easily done than said...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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