I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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