i would punch a child for taco bell
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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