You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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