don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
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Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW