Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.