I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito