There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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