I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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