Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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