My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
