This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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